I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
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well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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