Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
