But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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