She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize