they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
