My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Randomize
