You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
