I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
