My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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