Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
