She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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