my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
