the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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