Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
