I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i out mim tonsoeep
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