i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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