Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
