You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
