Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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