I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
please come you make the beer taste better
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
