Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
