no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
