we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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