question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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