What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
