Where did you get a picture of my penis
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
