I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You just made me feel so damn special
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
