my mouth tastes like poor choices
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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