How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
