Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.

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(574): View more from Indiana

how does Santa get into Hogwarts?

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(440): View more from Ohio

woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.

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(360): View more from Washington

I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized

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(+27): View more from South Africa

You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone

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(201): View more from New Jersey

For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao

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(519): View more from Ontario

Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest

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