oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.