one might say we're banned from that church
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
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They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
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Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
I just want to make out with him forever
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.