No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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