Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I still have a little drunk in my system
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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