He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
