umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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