I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
