And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
