3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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