Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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