he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
