the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
