You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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