it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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