Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
