My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
