dude i'm inner monologue high
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
