I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
