so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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