Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
