they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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