Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
