is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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