Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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