My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
