Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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