She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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