Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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