why didn't you poke me back
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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