What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it