So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"