capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?