I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.