Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize