Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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