Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.

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  (630): I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something. http://tfl.nu/fnx9
  Replies (5) Good night (2241) Bad night (575)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.

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  (732): Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD. http://tfl.nu/fbqj
  Replies (9) Good night (622) Bad night (3157)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.

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  (215): At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware. http://tfl.nu/07cm
  Replies (33) Good night (3007) Bad night (826)
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  (949): View more from California

  Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.

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  (949): Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier. http://tfl.nu/b8lx
  Replies (22) Good night (996) Bad night (2394)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero

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  (325): Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero http://tfl.nu/zl6f
  Replies (58) Good night (6552) Bad night (1129)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm

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  (337): you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm http://tfl.nu/y579
  Replies (27) Good night (7548) Bad night (1177)
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  (408): View more from California

  He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.

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  (408): He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize. http://tfl.nu/u4mt
  Replies (29) Good night (874) Bad night (6595)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them

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  (419): this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them http://tfl.nu/j2wl
  Replies (22) Good night (1335) Bad night (3081)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..

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  (973): can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces.. http://tfl.nu/3uan
  Replies (6) Good night (2811) Bad night (1237)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love

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  (407): I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love http://tfl.nu/zj41
  Replies (14) Good night (3932) Bad night (1239)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.

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  (801): Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away. http://tfl.nu/018f
  Replies (8) Good night (1649) Bad night (778)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.

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  (269): All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold. http://tfl.nu/eqny
  Replies (4) Good night (1953) Bad night (863)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"

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  (202): All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad" http://tfl.nu/wm4r
  Replies (3) Good night (699) Bad night (1643)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.

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  (817): Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one. http://tfl.nu/mit2
  Replies (3) Good night (781) Bad night (1026)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.

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  (309): note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never. http://tfl.nu/8ha6
  Replies (7) Good night (394) Bad night (1183)

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